Helping Toddlers with Big Feelings and Sensory Seeking Behaviors — And Understanding Tantrums vs. Meltdowns
If you have a toddler who is constantly on the move, craves deep pressure, or experiences intense emotions, you might be wondering how to help. As a pediatric occupational therapist specializing in ages 2–4, I work with children who process the world differently - and I help them build the skills they need to feel calm, confident, and connected.
What is Sensory Seeking in Toddlers?
A sensory seeking toddler may:
Jump, spin, or climb constantly.
Hug tightly or crash into people and furniture.
Seek out bright lights, loud sounds, or fast movement.
Struggle with emotional regulation and have frequent meltdowns.
These behaviors are not “bad” — they’re signals that your child’s sensory system is working hard to get the input it needs.
Why Early Occupational Therapy Matters
Between ages two and four, children’s brains are rapidly forming pathways for emotional regulation, sensory processing, and social skills. Specialized intervention gives them tools to:
Calm their bodies and minds during overwhelming moments.
Get the right amount of sensory input in safe, healthy, and purposeful ways.
Improve coordination, balance, and body awareness.
Transition more smoothly between activities and environments.
Tantrum vs. Meltdown: How to Tell the Difference
Parents often ask me:
“Is my child having a tantrum… or a meltdown?”
While both can look similar — big emotions, loud voices, sometimes tears — they come from different causes and need different responses.
What is a Tantrum?
A tantrum is a behavior your child uses to try to get a desired outcome or avoid something they don’t want.
Cause: Frustration, wanting something, being told “no.”
Awareness: The child has some control and may still respond to distraction, comfort, or negotiation.
Goal: To get a reaction, an item, or a change in a situation.
Example: Screaming because you won’t buy candy at the store.
Responding to a Tantrum:
Stay calm and consistent with boundaries.
Offer choices if appropriate.
Avoid giving in if it reinforces unwanted behavior.
Praise calm behavior once they’ve recovered.
What is a Meltdown?
A meltdown is an intense reaction to being overwhelmed - often due to sensory overload, emotional overload, or fatigue.
Cause: Too much sensory input (noise, lights, crowds), emotional stress, hunger, or exhaustion.
Awareness: The child is not in control and cannot stop even if they want to.
Goal: There is no goal - it’s the body’s way of coping with overload.
Example: Crying and covering ears after a loud birthday party.
Responding to a Meltdown:
Reduce stimulation (quiet space, dim lights, lower noise).
Offer calming input (deep pressure hug if welcomed, weighted blanket, or slow breathing together).
Stay present and supportive without demanding immediate compliance.
Give time for recovery before talking about the event.
Why This Difference Matters for Sensory Seekers
For sensory seeking toddlers, meltdowns are often linked to unmet sensory needs or sensory overload. When you know the difference, you can:
Respond with the right strategy.
Prevent future meltdowns by meeting sensory needs proactively.
Avoid unnecessary power struggles.
How I Help Toddlers with Big Feelings
In our occupational therapy sessions, we use child-led play-based activities to meet sensory needs and build emotional regulation skills. This may include:
Obstacle courses for movement and motor skills.
Sensory play like swinging, jumping, or tactile exploration.
“Heavy work” activities to help with calming and focus.
Simple calming strategies you can use at home.
Parents are part of every step — I’ll teach you how to integrate these strategies into your daily routines so your child continues to make progress outside of sessions.
Signs Your Toddler Might Benefit from OT
Frequent meltdowns that are hard to manage.
Constant movement or crashing into things.
Difficulty calming down after excitement or frustration.
Strong reactions to sensory experiences (seeking or avoiding).
Next Steps
If you’re ready to help your child thrive, the first step is an occupational therapy evaluation. We’ll explore your child’s strengths and challenges, create a plan that fits your family, and give you tools you can use right away.
Contact us to schedule your toddler’s evaluation. Let’s turn big feelings into big growth.
blog post by Leah Herring, DrOT, OTR/L
